The One Where Corinne Annoys Us All...

The TV Diaries
Jan 12, 2017
5 min read

Here we are again ... another week, another episode.

We expected a lot from this one especially with the preview of the gang finding out that Liz and Nick had a "special night" at ... wait where was it again? Oh yeah, Jade and Tanner's wedding. However, we were a little let down .. this season doesn't feel like it's going to be nearly as exciting as past seasons. With such a controversial bachelor, it is a shame that this season is such a *yawn* snooze fest. Anyway, on with the episode...

Group Date #1: "Always a bridesmaid..." or "The date where Nick kisses EVERYONE"

Okay, is it just us or did it feel like every woman in the mansion made it on this date? Definitely had to check to make sure the show wasn't trying to pull a fast one on us. The lucky ladies participating on this date were: Corinne, Vanessa, Sarah, Haley, Taylor, Lacey, Alexis, Brittany, Jasmine, Raven, Danielle L, and Elizabeth W. BRING ON THE AWKWARD WEDDING PHOTO SHOOT!! We are convinced that these group dates get weirder and weirder every season. Correct us if we're wrong, but do they typically throw the gals and our Bachelor into these awkward mock-wedding situations this early on? We will admit though that this photographer is incredible and we’re going to need him to be on the show AT ALL TIMES!!!

Notable moments from this half of the date:

“Vegas Elopement” with Sarah: Well it definitely had all the feels of Britney Spears circa 2004. Also, the best line of the date goes to our stellar photographer: “Who’s being naughty in Las Vegas? Someone needs a spanking”.

[Image by ABC Television Network]

“Shotgun Wedding” with Alexis was hilarious!! Love that they made her pregnant with a shotgun.

[Image by ABC Television Network]

“Adam and Eve Wedding” with Brittany: First off, this isn't a real kind of wedding, let’s be honest. Second, good on you girl for being topless but classy about it (re Corinne). Third, they could have spray-tanned nick’s thighs, right? They were a little pasty and distracting from lack of manhood in his leaf bottoms.

[Image by ABC Television Network]

“Beach wedding” with the one and only Corinne: Well, when you have Corinne, water, Nick, and a piece of clothing she can take off easily, something ridiculous is bound to happen. What did she say again - right "Nick Janet Jackson'ed me"! We would have walked right out of there if we were also on this ridiculous date. This doesn't help the fact that all of America now knows that Nick has slept

[Image by ABC Television Network]

with at least 7 notable Bachelor contestants, and who knows who else? Why would he agree to this? Oh right, because he's NICK.

Do we feel like the producers had something to say about Corinne winning that photo shoot challenge? HELLS YES! Like come on guys, that was WAY too obvious and they needed more drama in the house. Corinne = DRAMA!

Onto the evening portion ... of course the first person to steal Nick was Corinne because she didn’t get enough time with him already. We’ve seen women on here time and time again like Corinne and with the exception of Courtney Robertson, you’re typically going to be cut once the drama becomes too annoying for the producers. His main comment to her was, “You’re very sexy and I love how you take initiative.” You’re a fun time to him sweetie, not marriage material.

Ridiculous quote 1 from Corinne this evening: “My nipple might have been out when I was talking to Nick, but that’s fine” #classact

Nick’s time with Raven seemed genuine and like the first real conversation he’s had on the show thus far. However, she might be too small town girl for this Bachelor limelight. Taylor's time was very quickly interrupted by Corinne, because she’s very obviously drunk and doesn’t understand general social behaviours. We LOVE that Taylor came back though and asked for more time with Nick, not that we think he was overall excited by their time together. It was just great that someone was able to put her in her place. In typical fashion of the diva-like ladies on this show, Corinne walked back to the group incredibly upset yet she’s been doing this to the other girls all night. ENOUGH! It’s always been a pet peeve that these girls don’t just say “Actually can I have a minute?” but they just passive aggressively stare blankly at them, then Nick, then back at them and say “Um, okay...” GET A BACKBONE!!!

Anyway, Corinne obviously got the group date rose because the producers hate us and want us to live with her longer.

Back at the house, we’re reminded ONCE AGAIN where Liz knows Nick from. So much so that she was bursting with the need to tell someone about it ... so she confided in Christen. Just look at her face. Priceless.

[Image by ABC/Rick Rowell]

One on One: "Our relationship is about to take off..."

The first One on One date of the season was with Danielle M where they took a helicopter to a ship in Newport to .... I don’t really know because they hardly showed this date AT ALL. We were too busy watching Liz explain how she knows Nick as if we forgot or something?! We got a little glimpse of the date though during the evening portion where Danielle revealed that she was engaged before, but three months into their engagement she found her fiancé dead from a drug overdose. This was incredibly heartbreaking and we have to give it to Nick that he was rightfully supportive. Danielle got the rose on this date.

Group Date #2: "We need to talk..."

On this date we have Christen, Josephine, Astrid, Jaimi, Christina, and obviously Liz. SO onto the next strange group date where the girls are taken to the Museum of Broken Relationships? Yeah, weird right? Usually on my first date with a guy, I am thinking about how to break up with him. Nick has the engagement ring on display that he was going to give Kaitlyn to symbolize his ... broken heart? Anyways, cue boring awkward moments with Nick and Liz - "is he ignoring me? This is awkward." The answer is yes, he is freaking ignoring you, idiot.

Seems like they all have to break up with Nick on this date...and BITCH SLAP! Woah, Josephine just came out of nowhere with that one. Gotta give her props for that. All the other girls were pretty normal break ups., so nothing to explain here.

Then comes in Liz...she's gonna do it...Nick is shitting himself right now and does not know how to react...ladies are like "WOW SHE IS SUCH A GOOD STORY TELLER"! We can't even right now as Christen is the only girl who knows.

[Image by The Bachelor Twitter]

After that awkward segment, it is time for the evening portion of the date and all we care about is the conversation between Liz and Nick that is long overdue. Okay so Nick is trying to figure out if any of the girls know and all seems right in the world until he talks to Christen who drops the bomb that she knows legit every detail of that night. Nick decided to pull Liz aside and have "the talk" and all of America is basically clawing their eyeballs out at the awkwardness of this conversation. Nick keeps saying they had "so much fun" which is obviously code for had "lots of drunken sex". Liz is going in circles and is making no sense, which is pissing off Nick. Girl, just go - there is no point in even trying anymore...OH WAIT - He actually sends her home! FINALLY! WE DON'T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW SHE SLEPT WITH NICK AT JADE AND TANNER'S WEDDING! *throws confetti, pops champagne - party for two*

Time to tell the girls...anddddddddddddddddddddd TO BE CONTINUED. DAMN IT! Classic Bachelor, making us wait until next week to make it seem like the most dramatic season in bachelor history yet.

Until next week...