The One With All The Awkward Crying

The TV Diaries
Feb 9, 2017
4 min read

Well let's be honest, we were all dreading having to continue this Taylor vs Corinne saga. It was just flat out awkward. Like why is this even a thing? Why are Nick and Corinne STILL a thing? The fact that he "sees a lot of potential with [her]" BLOWS OUR MINDS!!! Although, we do have to give it to Corinne for those great one-liners: "Cats have nine lives and bitches have two". She's not wrong LOL.

Rose Ceremony

Well once again, we're forgoing a cocktail party .. but this time there's no ridiculous pool party in its place. For lack of writing too much for something that was rather uneventful we'll just leave you with who was left (and how sad we are that Left Shark is gone): Corinne, Danielle M, Rachel, Kristina, Raven, Vanessa, Danielle L (D-Lo as we'll later find out), and Whitney.

** we're praying Left Shark swims her way into Paradise **

And what exciting place might we be off to next? ST THOMAS!! (at least this is something to finally be excited about)

Cut to St Thomas where the girls run into their not to lavish suite ... did the budget get cut or something for this episode? Even more cringe-worthy than the room was when the women see a plane and yell out "NICK!!!" and then we cut to a shot of Nick in the plane where he then yells back "HEY!!!" ... I mean, REALLY?!?!?!?!?!? THE WORST.

[Gif credit: ABC]

A couple things of note here:

We want Raven's VERY lovely VERY long hair #hairenvy
LOL at Corinne when Lorna comes into the suite to clean and be their personal maid. Serious Raquel vibes .. maybe she was hired by Corinne's family? Not going to lie though, we kind of wish we had a Lorna or Raquel in our lives...sometimes.

One on One - Kristina

[Photo credit: ABC] WE LOVE HER!!!! There really isn't anything bad you can say about this girl. She's endured so much and yet she is so poised, respectable, pleasant, and kind. Her story put us straight to tears. For someone who grew up in Russia without much to eat, only to be kicked out for eating, being in an orphanage for 7-8 years, only to finally be adopted by an American family at the age of 12. Think about it: you leave your family at such a young age, you make a family with a bunch of kids living the exact life you are, only to have to leave them at an extremely scary but critical time in your life and move across the world to a country where you don't speak the language. How do you go through all of that, never having contact with your birth parents, knowing you have a 27 year old sister in Russia living her own life, and STILL turn out as great as Kristina did?? So yeah, it seems only fitting that through the tears Nick gave this amazing person a rose. Finally doing something right there bud....

Group Date - "Life's a beach"

Well if there was an award for the most awful date in the history of the show, this one would for sure be in the running. On this date, we have Rachel, Raven, Vanessa, Corinne, Danielle M, and Jasmine. Where. Do. We. Start.

Well, Vanessa looks UNREAL in that bikini ... where did you buy that girl????????? (maybe a Canadian retailer?!).
Volleyball isn't really a good idea with a bunch of drunk and very emotional girls who don't know how to play the sport.
Jasmine, shut up.

But honestly, we really didn't see this date taking the sour turn that it ended up taking. Like really, who would have thought a semi-violent game of volleyball would have turned the girls into these emotional wrecks? The intention of a fun afternoon playing at the beach seemed harmless enough, but it just wasn't in the cards for this group. Seriously though, Nick you need to stop with the defensiveness here ... these girls are allowed to feel how they feel. This isn't a normal life experience you're all going through and you're really not giving them the appropriate validation that they need from you.

[Gif credit: ABC]

Jasmine though needs to COOL IT!! All she does is complain about not having time with Nick. Girl, get off your ass and go talk to him. Why are you waiting for this idiot to come to you?? When they finally do talk our cringe glands went from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. SHE'S TRYING TO CHOKE HIM!!!!!!! And she's trying to be sexy about it but it's doing nothing more than scaring the living s#!& out of him! Her sexiness was no where close to Corinne and her whipped cream so, sorry Jaz it's home time for you.

Our girl Raven got the rose and our nerves were finally restored to normal.

2 on 1 - Whitney and Danielle L.

[Photo credit: ABC]

It really does suck that Whitney has never had anything but a group date and here she is on a 2 on 1 with someone who HAS had a 1 on 1. Tbh though we don't really have an opinion on her considering we feel like she hasn't had much screen time ... and same with Danielle. Don't really have a stake in this date. Not really saying much to Whitney, he let's her off the hook. But frankly, we don't see the connection with him and Danielle L either. She talks but says nothing, he listens and understands nothing. He's not feeling this and I think it's a little rude that he's let her say she's falling in love with him and THEN cuts the cord. Well .... does this mean no rose ceremony this week? (or next episode...or, like..ever?!) Seriously though, these women are dropping like flies!

With everyone back at the hotel, Nick enters in tears worried that this experience may not work [AGAIN] for him. I understand you're worried man but DON'T YOU DARE do that to these girls!!! How selfish do you have to be to put these women in a position to feel like they're falling for someone who isn't capable of loving them back?? You're an idiot ....

Until next time ...